My story is something you may have all heard before: I met a guy, thought we loved each other, and had foggy glasses the entire time. I thought he was the one, and that I was done looking. Everyone else had a clear vision, but not me. I was infatuated with someone who I thought I had figured out. I’m sure deep, deep down I knew where it was going but I didn’t want to believe it. Instead, I consumed myself in him, in his life. I made my whole world about trying to make him happy because then maybe he could see that I was there. Sad, I know. I hate even admitting out loud how naïve I was. Long story short, I had to move on.
I had completely lost myself in him, in the idea of him that I didn’t even know who I was anymore. I felt like a worthless empty shell of the person I used to be. I stopped doing all the things I loved because my anxiety and depression got so bad I just slept and wallowed in my own self-pity. It took months until I finally woke up one day and told myself ENOUGH.
ENOUGH of letting this boy define you.
ENOUGH of letting any boy change who you are and make you feel unworthy.
You know that song by Jana Kramer ‘Voices’? That was my anthem. I sang that song every day until I started truly believing it. When I did, that’s when the healing truly began. I started remembering all the things that I loved about myself, what I loved to do. I started out slow, so I didn’t overwhelm myself with too many tasks at once. I started healing myself from within by reading again, eating healthier and working out. During my self-healing, I moved back home so I didn’t surround myself with constant memories from the past I so badly wanted to leave behind. Then I gradually started going back out in public more often.
I started going to yard sales on the weekends with my mom like we used to do. I started truly feeling like myself again, a little more guarded than before, but nonetheless a lot more like myself. I started to realize that I had to start cutting people out not because I didn’t care about them but because it was better for me in the long run. I started surrounding myself with people who brought me joy and happiness rather than old memories and loss. I even met an amazing man while going to the yard sales, in the middle of my healing. This man showed me just how much this world could offer and that’s when traveling was added into my healing tactics. I started paying attention to what made me feel happy, to what brought me joy and I held onto it for dear life.
I ended up moving back to where I had lived before, quitting the job I was at for so many years, and started really focusing on myself. I travel as often as I can to see the man who brings me the most joy in life, started a new job so I could put the past behind, and started thinking of what I could do to help others overcome what I had mentally gone through.
That’s when Healing With A was born. I just hope this page brings others the strength, the hope, and the healing that I am finding in myself. I am not 100% healed, but I am hoping with this page, we can all heal together.